Are you not feeling happy with something in your life right now? You’re not alone, and that is okay.
There is a lot that anyone can deal with, including financial issues, physical problems, relationships, pandemic-related habits, or feeling powerless and disconnected. In addition, it does not appear to be a particularly favorable time for flourishing after all of the media coverage of the difficult winter we are experiencing.
I am aware that we are all influenced by external factors, which we cannot control and how they affect our lives. However, despite what it may appear to be at times, there is always something you can do to alter what follows.
Anybody can use these five resilience-based steps to effect change.
1. The resilient mindset shift
When it comes to making real, tangible change in your life, a lot of this starts with how you see things. We have a mechanism called the Reticular Activating System (RAS) that filters out the information that comes at us every day. It will filter this according to the guidelines we give it. Our fundamental beliefs frequently inform those regulations.
This mechanism is what causes you to suddenly notice things you thought you had never noticed before. For instance, I wanted to purchase a particular model of small, light blue car recently. I thought I’d never seen one in person, so I wasn’t sure if I’d found one online. I began to see them everywhere as soon as I believed I wanted this car. I hadn’t seen one before; rather, I hadn’t noticed one because I wasn’t looking for one.
Your RAS will provide you with evidence of what you want to believe about yourself, just as it does with core beliefs. That’s what you’ll see around you, whether it’s “I’m not worthy of love” or “I’ll never earn more money.” It means that you won’t be able to take advantage of any opportunities to earn more money or show that you are worthy of love.
Although this is only one example, it demonstrates how significant the perspective you use to view the world is. And why it’s so important to have more resilience when life changes happen. It’s not just about what you think, but also how those thoughts affect your actions and behaviors, which in turn affect what happens.
2. What is your subconscious feeding you?
Let’s examine those fundamental beliefs more deeply. Reprogramming fundamental beliefs that you may have been cultivating since childhood is no easy task. However, it is doable. especially through coaching on resilience. To be aware of what you’re feeding your RAS and the daily narratives you’re hearing, it starts with identifying those core beliefs.
Resilience coaching can help you work through this. Alternately, you can do it on your own by taking a break every hour, for instance, and asking yourself, “How do I feel?” especially when something significant or difficult occurs. and “what do I currently believe about myself?”
Although it may seem straightforward, developing self-awareness is always difficult. And it is this self-awareness that provides you with the insight you require to stop reverting to unhelpful thought and behavior patterns. In a session with a resilience coach, questioning can be a particularly effective tool because it forces you to consider alternatives and disrupts your usual narratives.
3. Remind your brain that change is possible
What we think is possible for ourselves is also something we are unaware of. You’ll probably tell yourself that you can’t do, be, or have something if it’s outside your comfort zone. We feel safe in our comfort zones, so they exist. That’s what we need from time to time, and we also need to remind ourselves that we are capable of doing new things.
The process of assisting you to become more comfortable taking risks is the goal of resilience coaching. To be clear, taking risks is not reckless behavior. In point of fact, having the ability to talk yourself into taking a risk, from considering the possibility to making any necessary preparations, is healthy. Your brain will be constantly reminded that change is possible the more you do things outside of your comfort zone. This will increase your self-confidence the more you remember it.
4. Commit to something different every day
Habits can be healthy, no doubt about that. However, they can also be places where we hide our anxieties, are unwillingness to take risks, or give up our emotional supports. And if you keep any part of yourself hidden, it will always hurt your resilience. One of the easiest ways to get started is to simply start doing things differently because so much of this is driven by the subconscious. This may elicit a wide range of novel concepts and shifts in perspective.
Make a commitment to changing one thing each day for a month. Taking a different route to work, responding in a different way, participating in different activities, or agreeing to something—whatever seems to require the most change at the moment.
5. Embrace the f*ckit method
Everything in life comes to a point where a leap of faith is the only way to get there, especially when it’s new or makes you feel vulnerable. The F*ckit Method can be very useful in those situations. You might interpret it as “f*ckit, I’ll give it a try,” for example.
Although it may sound sweary or flippant, it has been identified as the contemporary equivalent of surrender and letting go. It can help you tune in to what your instincts really want you to do and let go of the pressure right away. Give the F*ckit ethos a shot if perfectionism keeps you stuck or you’re too afraid to take a big step forward.
Resilience is a vital force for change. It’s the energy that we come at life with and it’s the momentum we have to embrace uncertainty, risk and the potential for failure. How much resilience you have is heavily influenced by your mindset and core beliefs. Which is why resilience coaching is such a powerful tool for changing your life – and what comes next.
