There are numerous customs associated with Christmas and the New Year. Making gift lists and not sending cards to Australia before the deadline (or is that just me?!), Watching Christmas specials on television, listening to jingly music in stores, decorating the tree, buying presents, and traveling to spend time with family and friends where we share the same jokes and stories.
After the festive celebrations and indulgences of the holidays, New Year’s resolutions include cutting back on alcohol consumption, increasing physical activity, and making numerous promises to ourselves to follow through on plans to make this year even better than the previous one.
Repetition can be very comforting and reassuring. However, it is simple to give up when we fail to keep our New Year’s resolutions because it can be disappointing. Again.
Problems can also arise when bad habits or behaviors are repeated. You may have heard the expression “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results” from Albert Einstein.
Breaking bad habits
I’ve worked with a lot of clients who want to get rid of bad habits or bad behavior they do over and over again. Many customers want to stop a loop of thoughts in their heads and figure out what’s going on. In certain situations or when interacting with certain people, many people automatically have negative thoughts.
We collaborate to investigate the context of unhelpful thoughts and behaviors as well as habits. In order to reframe how we think, feel, and act, we investigate the specific circumstances in which the thoughts occur and the emotions they elicit.
If this speaks to you, the following are some helpful questions to ask yourself:
- Where does it happen? (Like New Year resolutions – try to be as specific as possible).
- How much control do you have over the situation?
- What are you thinking when you are doing it?
- How do you feel?
- What happens as a result?
And then, go over the questions again to see if there are other ways to change the situation, thinking, and doing to get a different result:
- Where does it happen?
- How much control could you have over the situation?
- What do you want to be thinking when you are doing it?
- How do you want to feel?
- What would happen as a result?
Repetition: The route to mastery
Repetition – a focussed form of repetition – can also be the route to mastery. The “10,000 hours” rule might have come to your attention. In his book Outliers, Malcom Gladwell made this popular. The idea is based on Anders Ericsson’s research into elite musicians and athletes. He came to the conclusion that their accomplishments were the result of “deliberate practice” rather than innate talent or genius.
The fact that many of them had practiced for at least 10,000 hours accounts for the 10,000 figure. Deliberate practice, on the other hand, is more than just repetition; it is practice with a clear focus and outside of our comfort zone. It’s about pushing our limits and constantly striving to get better. Did you know that London black cab drivers who learn The Knowledge through years of practice by memorizing routes through London’s streets actually grow their brains?
Additionally, Ericsson points out that practice can be improved with the assistance of a coach or teacher. Why?
It is simple to continue practicing without actually improving; the accumulation of hours is insufficient. In addition, it takes a lot of effort to practice constantly when it’s uncomfortable or just beyond your ability. If you’re having trouble staying motivated, a coach can help.
Ericsson talks about how important it is to have specific goals that are clearly defined. At the beginning of your coaching journey—and at the beginning of each coaching session—a good coach will assist you in clarifying these. Ericsson also talks about setting specific goals rather than vague ones and improving overall. To be able to measure your success, you need to know exactly what you want to accomplish.
There are numerous things to learn when starting a new job. You might need to practice a lot. A coach can assist you in overcoming the obstacles you may face because this can be intimidating. It’s possible that you’ve made mistakes in the past that you really don’t want to make again. A coach can also assist you in figuring out how to avoid them.
On the other hand, if you’ve been at your job for some time, you might think that you aren’t getting better. You have a lot of experience, but it gets harder to feel good about yourself when you do well at something new or even when you do well at anything.
You’ve already done everything. Repeat.
However, you can always alter things. Ericsson discusses gradual advancements over time. You can identify areas of your work where you could still grow and improve your performance with the assistance of a coach. You can improve your skills, regain your enthusiasm, energy, and sense of fulfillment after a job well done, with a coach reflecting back on your progress and holding you accountable.
- What forms of repetition do you recognise in your own life?
- Are they re-assuring and comfortable?
- Are they stretching?
- Are they frustrating?
- Are they unhelpful?
Could you benefit from the support of a coach? If you’d like to explore how I might be able to support you please DO get in touch! Why stay on repeat when you could be improving, expanding and getting more out of your day to day?
